a long road ahead

I use to write on my blog everyday- some days even twice! Since having Hazel and becoming sick- I just haven't had the time or energy. I love reading blogs and wish I had a gorgeous array of photos to post that I took during a baking or craft session.. but I don't. Well I do actually have photos like that, but I've just been too tired.weak.lazy to share them.

For those of you who don't know, I have Ulcerative Colitis. Ulcerative Colitis is a chronic disease of the colon, or large intestine. The disease is marked by inflammation, because the inflammation makes the colon empty frequently, symptoms typically include diarrhea (sometimes bloody) and often crampy abdominal pain. Now doesn't that sound pleasant?!

So you see for the last 2+ years I've been trying medications with some help- but it is all just trial and error. On my last Dr. visit I was given few choices with medication. One has some very scary side effects and I am not quite ready to go on that regardless of my pain. So as a last resort I am trying the SCD diet. From the book by Elaine Gottschall, Breaking the Vicious Cycle. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet removes carbs,grains and sugar from your diet. I know, I know I am still in morning for maple syrup,real pancakes,FRENCH FRIES!!! WTF?! But if this diet can help me heal myself without the use of steroids or serious drugs- I will stay loyal and swear off carbs.
The beginning diet has you on chicken soup (blech- I have been a veggie for 11 years or so and since I have become sick- I have had to resort to eating meat literally to stay alive, b/c nothing else would help. When I do eat meat ( turkey & chicken & eggs) I try to always buy organic, free range... which is better for my family and for the animals. I tried to take a short cut and just use boxed chicken broth- well that didn't go so good b/c it had sugar cane in it and well it just threw me back 3 + days in my diet. So with the help of my mother making me my 1st batch of stock and Zach helping me make my second batch- I should be OK for till at least Wednesday. They say you shouldn't need more than 2-3 days- as I am thinking*dreaming* amazed I might be feeling the effects already?! after 1 full day. I miss my dark chocolate.. but I am looking forward to a new way of being creative in the kitchen.. and dammit I still have my beans if this all works out.

For now, one day at a time is what I have been doing. During the dark, grey winter sky- trying to keep a toddler and a large puppy busy everyday- while not showing videos all day is tough-while trying to stay out of the bathroom is tough, but I am really trying. I'm thankful for friends & family who try to understand, a husband who does what he can when he can to try and keep me comfy and well and puts up with some major episodes from me and my parents who help through support on the phone a million times a day and in person... for this I am so lucky! Lately, I have been letting this disease get me down, but it is time I take charge and start to do the things I love doing when I can. I hope this whole post doesn't sound like something Debbie Downer wrote. Trying to stay positive and not be so hard on myself in return trying to be easier on the ones I love. more soon!