So I'm listening to Wish Fulfillment, by Sonic Youth. In high school this was one of my favorite songs and I eventually ruined the tape by playing this album so much. I like listening to music, when I can. I am much more productive when I am listening as opposed to watching something.
Sometimes it's really hard to do anymore than I do now. During the day I'm adding band-aids, cutting up snack after snack, half folding loads of laundry and rewashing the same one sometimes more than twice.... (I always add more soap), watching my littler person learn to crawl, eventually feeding the cats and *sometimes yelling at the dog to get off the couch. The day feels like I am a just trying to get from one meal to the next. Attempting to make 4 square meals 3 times a day- ACK! My husband, puts our 4 year old to sleep and I tackle the baby. For the most part he goes down easily enough. Somewhere between 6:30/7:30 everyone is asleep and I have time to do everything and nothing. I know this schedule hardly seems like something to complain about. My mother even now likes to remind me that my father didn't really pitch in on things like bedtime, baths or dinner. But I can't help of I think of the nights when I first started selling my wares for profit- we use to stay up all night, watching Law & Order marathons while my sewing machine whizzed into the wee hours. I guess it really made a difference when I could wake up whenever and wasn't woken up in the middle of the night by little babies. If I have to be woken up, there is nothing sweeter, I just wish I could find the drive in the early evening to reconnect with things I love to do. I read other blogs and these other mamas are getting sh*t done! Some have multiples and are still able to create these amazing projects.. what is their secret?
Could my real lack of sleep be affecting me more than I truly realize? I'm not sure. I've tried to cut out coffee and black tea and I don't drink caffeine( green tea) past 3 or 4. If I had to make some sort of hunch, my TV and procrastination is sucking the energy out of me. I've started to try and stop watching as many shows... because- why do I need these? I am riding my exercise bike, trying to watch what I eat and have even been gluten free for several weeks...I can only hope with the spring and summery days in the near future- it will inspire me. Oh daffodils, oh crocus, oh tulips- please hurry... I need your inspiration.
* Zach and I disagree sometimes on this. I want Bella to lay with us on the couch, but she's huge and she's a dog. We had to get rid of our loveseat b/c it just smelled of dog...but I am conflicted and a hug wuss. All she has to do is flash her doggie eyebrows and I give in.
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