2 weeks and 7 years

Let me share a little bit while Zach puts Hazel down. This is her second night going without her beloved binky and I am just so proud of her. Ahem, it was more her parent's apprehension than hers. She would say " Mama when are we going to gather the binkies for that baby boy?" This of course being the story that we as parents chose to tell her. So with that, we didn't make a huge deal we just followed on the heels of her questions with our little action. So far so good.

Today is 2 weeks since I started the SCD diet for my colitis. Last week I was feeling kinda devastated and starving. I did find out that most people don't really start seeing results till week 3... so hope that is so for me.Well I feel like I am doing a little bit better. I've morphed into eating almond pancakes with honey on them and then making extra to snack on throughout the day like a biscuit or cookie I might normally eat. Today I made a butternut squash nut butter brownie and let's just say by end of day- there will be none left to put away or cover up. I ate them all ! A 9X9 pan, I guess it was... vanished into my stomach. Well I had to do something when my mother-in-law brought these delicious chocolate chip cookies to the house- they look exceptionally delicious- I almost lost control.. almost.

Today is 7 years since Zach and I went on our first date- where we met for the first time. We had met through mutual friends who kinda only dated for a week if that and in that short period of time we met- thanks to the powers of Zach's huge chops, my bff Suzanne and Friendster... does anyone remember Friendster? No? Well you're not missing anything!
Our first date was at this amazing Thai (Thai House in Nyack,NY) place (where a year and 1/2 later Zach proposed)I showed up a tad bit late, there was ice everywhere- which made it very difficult to park and once I had- I could barely walk the sidewalks let along run.. but I did and I made it. I instantly knew.. despite his lack of laughing at my jokes,( which I later called Suzanne to complain about! he TOTALLY didn't laugh at my jokes Sue!) I really thought this is kinda it. We then went to see Monster- yes friends, I have no idea what the hell we were thinking! First date movie? Um No! But we did and then he drove me to my car and we talked about going to the coffee shop for a cup of something. Next thing I knew he had driven away. To this day we laugh at that. He wonders why I called him and why I gave him a another chance, but I knew he was it from the second I met him- so wouldn't you have given him another chance?! Besides anyone who is that absent-minded and nutty can hold my hand any day.
xo

embracing

Thank you for the responses to my last post, the support of the wonderful people I may have never me in person but have shared something with via crafting- is awesome. Such good spirits- which lifted my spirits so the circle continues!

This morning I felt well enough to teach Hazel about the color red. We pointed out all the red things in our kitchen and I had a basket full of red items from around the house. Maybe later I'll go through that again with her. We made some apple & raspberry applesauce, which we made yesterday and both devoured it! Then we worked on coloring Valentines and this little wooden faerie my mother picked up for her. We all drank tea and Hazel had 2 ginger biscuits. A treat I loved whenever- that I"ve passed on to her since I can't eat them anymore. Before her nap we did a little rearraging of furniture in her bedroom.

Zach is working from home, due to the snow, which takes a little bit of pressure off. The Die Off as they refer to it in the beginning stages of the SCD diet has started. Feeling very weak and almost lifeless bouts here & there. I'd worry if this wasn't protocol... it means the diet is working! It's cleansing me! I also need to remember that this, like any recovery is a long journey- where some days I will feel amazing and other days not so much.. but I shouldn't let it get me down.

(our little holiday mantle)

I've started collaging a bit at night- during TV watching. I try not to watch too much TV- hardly ever during the day, but at night.. well my new show is Being Human. I'm a sucker to a cute vampire! Luckily, my husband is a sucker for a girl who likes cute vampires lol so we watch together. Back to the collaging, since I was in high school I would make these collaged journals- pictures,artwork,whatever I could get on a book- then covered with clear packing tape.( then my BFF would write back and forth in them) Oh how I"d drive my father crazy always stealing his tape- he go to tape up a box of wooden nickels which he use to make & sell and "Doh!" the tape was MIA. Sorry, Dad!

So after Hazel is a sleep, I have taken to glue sticks,scissors and collages. Something about it is so calming, cozy and comfortable. Sometimes the collages are inspiration- or crafty with a theme- sometimes free form. I have a book I keep for recipes with all food & cozy family-like ideas on the covers, one for Hazel with baby/mama/kidlet /learning themes etc. At one point I sold a few in my ButtonChops shop- but I haven't thought about maing more to sell. In fact as much as we need the money here at home, I haven't had much push to get that machine humming with product. I want to make things with my hands at the moment. In the good old days my machine was always warm. I'd stitch a little here and there all day- but now with the cold weather and physical issues- cozying up on the couch in front of a bloodsucker, with my husband, the fire and a handcraft is more appealing! Things change and I need to embrace the change.

a long road ahead

I use to write on my blog everyday- some days even twice! Since having Hazel and becoming sick- I just haven't had the time or energy. I love reading blogs and wish I had a gorgeous array of photos to post that I took during a baking or craft session.. but I don't. Well I do actually have photos like that, but I've just been too tired.weak.lazy to share them.

For those of you who don't know, I have Ulcerative Colitis. Ulcerative Colitis is a chronic disease of the colon, or large intestine. The disease is marked by inflammation, because the inflammation makes the colon empty frequently, symptoms typically include diarrhea (sometimes bloody) and often crampy abdominal pain. Now doesn't that sound pleasant?!

So you see for the last 2+ years I've been trying medications with some help- but it is all just trial and error. On my last Dr. visit I was given few choices with medication. One has some very scary side effects and I am not quite ready to go on that regardless of my pain. So as a last resort I am trying the SCD diet. From the book by Elaine Gottschall, Breaking the Vicious Cycle. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet removes carbs,grains and sugar from your diet. I know, I know I am still in morning for maple syrup,real pancakes,FRENCH FRIES!!! WTF?! But if this diet can help me heal myself without the use of steroids or serious drugs- I will stay loyal and swear off carbs.
The beginning diet has you on chicken soup (blech- I have been a veggie for 11 years or so and since I have become sick- I have had to resort to eating meat literally to stay alive, b/c nothing else would help. When I do eat meat ( turkey & chicken & eggs) I try to always buy organic, free range... which is better for my family and for the animals. I tried to take a short cut and just use boxed chicken broth- well that didn't go so good b/c it had sugar cane in it and well it just threw me back 3 + days in my diet. So with the help of my mother making me my 1st batch of stock and Zach helping me make my second batch- I should be OK for till at least Wednesday. They say you shouldn't need more than 2-3 days- as I am thinking*dreaming* amazed I might be feeling the effects already?! after 1 full day. I miss my dark chocolate.. but I am looking forward to a new way of being creative in the kitchen.. and dammit I still have my beans if this all works out.

For now, one day at a time is what I have been doing. During the dark, grey winter sky- trying to keep a toddler and a large puppy busy everyday- while not showing videos all day is tough-while trying to stay out of the bathroom is tough, but I am really trying. I'm thankful for friends & family who try to understand, a husband who does what he can when he can to try and keep me comfy and well and puts up with some major episodes from me and my parents who help through support on the phone a million times a day and in person... for this I am so lucky! Lately, I have been letting this disease get me down, but it is time I take charge and start to do the things I love doing when I can. I hope this whole post doesn't sound like something Debbie Downer wrote. Trying to stay positive and not be so hard on myself in return trying to be easier on the ones I love. more soon!

more snow to come!

more snow to come!, originally uploaded by hobocampcrafts.

Tonight we'll get hit with another snowstorm. So lucky we have that cord of wood to live off of! Today we did some thrifting- I haven't been in months. Still trying to do my own- only buying from the thrifts and so on- not buying new. I found 3 pair of jeans for $3.00 each- some great Sesame St. VHS for Hazel and some wonderful books. One on EcoCrafts for children.

Aside from that we've been laying low- getting ready to introduce a new little venture- which is somewhat familiar ( no I'm not preggo) that will be for the next post. A lot of organizing going on in our nest. Stay warm and toasty. xo

inspiration for snow-filled days

made by miss hazel,grandpa lou and papa. winter 2010




love, love loving this sweet little find!

this just makes me wanna dance!

With that, I am going to cuddle on the couch with a large, toasty pile of laundry- sip my chai and watch the snow fall. Back soon to try and start a daily space again!

sweet little garland

sweet little garland, originally uploaded by hobocampcrafts.

Just a little something I've been playing with since before the holidays. I wish I'd had it ready by then- but I am so happy with how it came out- I really think it is kinda darling!
The flags are perfect for ringing in the new year! They're also a little bit of whimsy,which is just what some of us might need now.

In hoboland,we're just trying to pull the house back together. I'm wondering how to decorate the mantle for this time of year. I am doing some reading, currently my favorites are:
Organize Now! by Jennifer Berry, Bazaar Style: Decorating With Market and Vintage Finds By Selina Lake and The Natural Kitchen: Your Guide to the Sustainable Food Revolution By Deborah Eden Tull.

I am all about trying to seek out the me I want to be. I sat down last night and made a list of things I want to achieve- to help me become the person I want to be. Since I was younger I've always admired certain women- for various reasons and since I am almost 33, I feel like I need to try to focus and work a little harder on this journey of mine.

Again, although Wardrobe Re Fashion is coming to a close, I really want to try and continue my own personal pledge. It was always difficult to stick to- but I'd like to try. With that- I'm off to read.
xo

happy holidays

I am hoping to have some more steam after the holidays- and working on some positive steps towards a better well-being, if that makes sense. Be well and enjoy this cuddly family & friend time xo Happy Holidays & Winter Solstice!