Thursday, December 11, 2008


Still deciding what to get your loved ones for the holidays? Snuggle Bunny BABY!

I love these photos- Zach looks like one of the American Apparel models- kinda uninterested and possibly in his underwear lol!

The holiday on Etsy is being good to us- and in return I am trying to get orders out in a more timely manner! No sleep- till Christmas? Well actually tonight- Zach will be working from home tomorrow, so I should be able to get some shut eye.

Yesterday, I came to peace with something that has been haunting me since Hazel arrived. My personal journey with breastfeeding. Since I became pregnant- even before that actually- I wanted to be a breastfeeding mama. Just grab the kids and go and when they we're hungry- just feed wherever. Then my reality set in. Seeing all the nurses tell me something different while in the hospital, meeting with 4 different lactation specialists and trying to make sense of it all- has been emotionally draining. Worried about night feeds b/c I am alone and can't really get the right latch. Hazel sensing my lack of confidence and apprehension. Feeling like I am a terrible mother because I've been supplementing with formula. It all came to a head yesterday, while my mom spent the day with me. She was very supportive and made me realize that I am a good mother- regardless whether I breastfeed or not. It was an ideal I've had and thanks to my sister-in-law and a new friend in the Etsy world- I feel more confident about my decision. I am going to continue to try and achieve that "perfect latch" that we have not yet found- but I'm not going to sweat it. Using an alternative organic formula along with breast milk is what we're going to do. Right now Hazel has been able to go from breast-bottle in no time flat. I know the idea of breastfeeding is very sacred and nurturing- but so is having Zach able to feed H too. Him being a part of her nourishment is a beautiful thing. It also takes some of the pressure off of a new mom who isn't haven't an easy time. I feel that H knows when I'm relaxed and when I'm not. She reacts to it and such a small person shouldn't be feeling my anxiety. So- I just wanted to share what we've been going through- amongst the Christmas decorations- two bewildered kitties- loads of tiny socks and receiving blankets.

Happy Thursday xo


casserole said...

Oh, girl - be kind to yourself!! While breastfeeding is certainly commendable, just remember that it's not the only way to nurture your baby. Having been through the infant thing with my own little girl, I can tell you that the truest bond is not from how you get milk into her little body, but from all the things you do to care for a little being who has so much potential and yet at this stage in her life is still so helpless. All the diaper changes, the nights walking the little one, the slobbery kisses, holding her little life in your hands and nurturing it - that's where the bond is.

GrayEyedScorpio said...

'Tis true, breastfeeding is a HUGE challenge, right when everything in your life is in upheaval. It may appear natural and easy to do, but the first few months are ROUGH. Without my husband to help with latching at night, I would have made the same choice.

My sis in law could not BF her first two, then was able to do so with her third. All of her kids are close and loved.

queenvanna said...

it's so easy to beat yourself up as a new mom, so much advice out there, so much stress when you want things to be so perfect. you do what you can in the minute, and that's all you can do. and in the end, whatever you do is going to be the right thing.

(and p.s. - AMEN on the daddy feedings. i'd go to bed at 7p let him do a 10p feeding before he went to bed, then i'd get a nice stretch of rest before the middle of the night feeding!!)

Island Travel Girl said...

Lucy did breast and bottle just fine, and I agree - the most importangt thing is a full baby tummy and a relaxed baby mommy. You will figure it out - you are doing GREAT ! I think you have a wonderful plan :)